hoping against hope


silence3
I live in a hope of a day – a day in which you will truly miss me, you will truly love me and will value my presence in your life. I live in a hope that one day you will realize my importance, one day you will feel I am valuable.
I know my hope is my biggest enemy. I know hope is what is eating me from inside. I know my hope is not letting me go anywhere. I know this hope of me being dreamed by you has turned me into a mad man.
I know you may never miss me, never hope for me, never dream for me. I know you may move on like millions of others. I know you may not turn back and see the wretched being. I know you can fly to distant land. I know my smile and tears is not your memory.
I still hope for a day when you will miss me. This hope of being missed by you keep me sane in this madness. It keeps my breathing pattern intact in spite of my heart beating unevenly.
I know my heart is weak. I know nobody likes a man with a weak heart. I know nobody likes a man who sees darkness even in sunlight. I know nobody likes a man who mourns perpetually. I know no body likes a man without ambition, without career and money.
I know I have nothing special to give. I know I am not very special for anyone of you. I know I am boring and intellectually corrupt. I know all what you tell and what you don’t tell.
I still hope one day you will come to me. One day you will come even if that one day comes after infinity, even that day will follow the eternity. I know you will come. I know you may not come. I know. I know….

 

 

*Musab Iqbal
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