June too soon


It was a brisk
January morning
Where the sun was
Warming the air still cool
From the night before,
But still it did not
Warm the chill in me.

I sat across from
The doctor in his office.
The fourth doctor,
As I was not satisfied
With the opinions of
The three doctors before him.

The expression on his face
Was grave,
The appropriate term for
What he was about to tell me.
With a voice devoid of any emotion
But sympathy, he told me
That my cancer was in
The advance stages,
And I have up to June
To live.

I suppose I was in shock
Or some zombie like state
Of acceptance which allowed me
To act normal and make my way home.

At home,
I cried and cried and cried
Until all my tears were spent,
And all that was left was
The silent, dry, body wracking sobs.
They too were spent
And were replaced by a deep slumber.

The next morning,
I awoke embraced in a sense
Of calm, that was equal
To the stillness of the surface
Of a quiet lake.
In that calm, I was resolute,
In that calm, I chose to live.
I chose to live.

In the weeks that followed,
I forgave my enemies,
And asked for their forgiveness.
I told my friends and family
How much I loved and appreciated them,
That even when I pass on,
My love for them will remain.

In the months that followed,
I lived!
I climbed mountains,
I dove in oceans,
I fell from the sky
Like a fallen angel.

In the months that followed,
I ran with the bulls,
I danced the samba
In the Brazilian Carnival,
I saw the Northern Lights
And a polar bear.

In the months that followed,
I ate good food,
Drank good wine
In the company of good people.

In the months that followed,
I laughed.
I laughed till I cried.
I laughed till no more sound came.
And my face held a constant

Soon June came,
Then July,
Then August,
Then the other months,
But I didn’t care because
I was living.

By August, two years later,
I had lived my life
I did all I wanted to do,
I saw all I wanted to see,
And it was only
When I was done living
That I allowed myself to die.

On the last day of August,
Two years later,
I died.

June was too soon,
But August, two years later
Was far enough for me.



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