farewell blackbird

birds @ kolkata

bye bye Blackbird
it is not that
several hundred birds several thousand birds fly away
always what flies away is one bird
from my inside
dangling my ugly internal organs
every time I get pregnant with you
I lose my sight inside blindness
I live sniffing the world
when I lose you I see you for the first time
but at that moment my up to now dies
and life in a new blindness begins to move

bye bye Blackbird
he sings on the stage transforming into one bird
his audience chases his bird becoming several tens of thousands of ears
at that time the audience is the blind wings of several hundred thousand
the audience who cannot see flapping their wings
becomes a ghost of a bird
and chasing the voice of one bird on the stage
dances over the seats in the dark
but I wonder if anyone can tell which one is not a ghost
but a real bird again

Bye Bye Blackbird
he who is singing cannot tell either
what is it that truly flies away from here
just he is singing wildly and feels
that now in which something is flying away is certain
it may be his velvety time
it may be the extremely soft sirloin of his soul
or it may be the star memory of his guilty crime
or it may be warm blood
that splashes from the tulip-shaped brain of a child sitting in the front row

bye bye Blackbird
I am a bird
whether I refuse myself
or accept myself
as long as I cannot snatch away
this pointed beak that does not stop pecking
and the wings that have a flapping habit
today I am a bird
I become a prayer and a bird several times a day piercing the sky
and thrust out of the sky and fall
or internal organs that carry a falling bird
inside me there are these giant birds that fall down
small birds from a lean and old bird to an arrogant
and sweet bird
and some are half-alive and groaning
I give funerals to these birds as my daily task
on the other hand
I warm the eggs of future birds as my daily task
the stranger the bird which bites off the future
the more I love and desperately warm its eggs
Bye Bye Blackbird
I am thinking of becoming a strange bird
and try making the one that eats me up fly away
really I must make that one fly away to the point blood gushes out
elegantly singing
bye Bye Blackbird


~Kazuko Shiraishi~


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